Most parents I know are trying really hard to raise their children in the best way they know how. Some parents have had a long legacy of shame in their past, and this legacy typically serves as a prime motivator which shows up in their parenting style–a parenting style that seems normal for them but which […]
We have been discussing the topic of violence and how anger can sometimes lead to aggression. We discussed the findings of James Gilligan, who has worked comprehensively with inmates who are violent. One of the profound premises that Gilligan has identified in his research is how powerful a factor shame is among violent inmates in our penal […]
In our work with students and families at Lakeside, we encounter thousands of parents who have struggled with their children and teenagers. We find that parents are usually desperate to help their child and often do not know how. So, we first identify the problem. A frequent one we see is that the child is trapped in a cycle […]
I once met a young man who seemed meek and calm; he came into my office to talk about problems with his wife. I sensed a lot of unrest in him, but he was extremely warm and polite. He then began to speak to me about physically abusing his wife, exposing the intense levels of rage within him. He also […]
In my last post we discussed toxic versus healthy shame. We also reflected on guilt and how it can either be healthy or unhealthy. We realize that a certain level of shame and guilt can be healthy if it affirms our humanity, helps us to learn our limits and affirms our values. However, as I encounter […]
In my last post we learned how shame, fear and violence are connected. We have been discussing the fact that a violent act stems from the violent individual’s significant feelings of shame. But is shame always something that causes a strong negative reaction?
We are discussing some of the reasons and causes why people become violent. My last posts referred to the work of James Gilligan and preventing violence. Today, I’ll look at Gilligan’s important finding of the link between shame, fear and violence.
In my last post, I reviewed the research of James Gilligan on the issue of violence. Gilligan did a significant amount of work with inmates and discovered what we think is a profound premise concerning the link between shame and violence.
Some of the most profound research on the issue of violence has come from James Gilligan. In his book, Preventing Violence, Mr. Gilligan draws from his experience in the prisons and prison mental hospital in Massachusetts as former Director of Psychiatric Services. He was also on the faculty of Harvard Medical School for over 25 years. […]
As we consider the topic of violence, it is important that we understand the role of anger as it relates to aggressive or violent acts.