When disciplining, I have invited readers to work on a report card that begins with two “Cs”: being calm and clear. Calm is both an attitude and a set of behaviors, and as I noted, a parent can fake being calm by assuming the behaviors of calmness, even if inwardly the parent is feeling highly agitated.
The Third “C,” ConfidenceDiane Wagenhals, Program Director, Master Trainer, Curricula Writer, Researcher, Mother and Grandmother
Being clear is about gaining a high level of clarity within oneself, with regard to specific and fair expectations, and then being able to clearly communicate those to a child.
The third “C” on the Discipline Report Card is the ability to be and project confidence.
Like calm, confidence is both an attitude and a set of behaviors.
The attitude of confidence comes from the belief that a parent not only has the right to be in charge and respected as the authority, but he or she also has the responsibility to assume an in-charge position in those moments when discipline is required.
There are several benefits for being confident when disciplining:
- Disciplining no longer seems like a burden or distasteful job. Rather, it just goes with the territory of parenting.
- Disciplining can have a relaxed, dispassionate stance and doesn’t have to become emotionally exhausting.
- Confident disciplining is about being assertive in life and can be a model for your children, thus increasing their self-confidence and emotional health.
By knowing some of the benefits of being confident, I hope readers are ready to embrace the necessary attitudes they need to have, which will be the subject of my next blog.
Invitation to Reflect:
- How well are you doing being calmer and clearer when you discipline?
- How confident do you feel about your rights and responsibilities around effectively disciplining your child?
- Do the benefits of becoming more confident appeal to you?
Diane Wagenhals, Director of Institute for Professional Education and Development, Lakeside Educational Network