Anyone can become angry…particularly a parent or caregiver. Frustrration for a parent may build until, inadvertently, anger gains such control, it is all one is feeling and thinking. Remember a past post that established the reasons we get angry have more to do with our thoughts than our circumstances? Well, one way to manage anger is to be […]
Our last four posts have discussed Beverly Engel’s research about passive, aggressive, passive-aggressive and projective-aggressive forms of anger expression as unhealthy responses. Since angry responses can leave emotional scars for children and adults alike, how one communicates anger is critical within a relationship. Some people spend a lifetime dealing with this issue both as a victim and as […]
We have been discussing different forms of expressing anger, looking at the research of Beverly Engel. So far, we have concentrated on the unhealthy expressions–passive anger, aggressive anger, or passive-aggressive anger–each of which leads to negative consequences in relationships. In our final part about unhealthy expressions of anger, Engel talks about projective-aggressive anger.
We have been discussing ways of communicating anger. To date, we have spoken about passive forms and aggressive forms of anger expression. According to the research of Beverly Engel, the passive-aggressive style of communicating anger has portions of both forms. This style of anger expression can be difficult to understand for the person who is dealing […]
In my last post, I introduced the work of Beverly Engel who has researched and categorized styles of anger communication. We have been looking at categorizes of anger communication that are unhealthy in impact. Last time, we discussed the passive anger communicator. Today, the category turns to aggressive anger.
Beverly Engel is one of the researchers we refer to in our training when we discuss anger and how it is communicated. In Honoring Your Anger, Engel both discusses and evaluates styles of communicating anger, categorizing whether they are healthy or unhealthy.
We have been discussing anger, shame and violence. We have most recently been addressing how parents can prevent speaking a spiraling set of angry messages that would leave significant scars on the emotional health of their child. Yes, parents can express anger in a healthy way.
Remember our parents starting sentences with “you” when talking to us about something we were doing that annoyed them? Sometimes the words that followed “you” were full of blame, humiliation, intimidation, shame and control. So, how does a parent communicate effective disciplinary statements without causing long-term negative emotional consequences? The answer is: use an I-Message.