We have been discussing ways of communicating anger. To date, we have spoken about passive forms and aggressive forms of anger expression. According to the research of Beverly Engel, the passive-aggressive style of communicating anger has portions of both forms. This style of anger expression can be difficult to understand for the person who is dealing […]
In my last post, I introduced the work of Beverly Engel who has researched and categorized styles of anger communication. We have been looking at categorizes of anger communication that are unhealthy in impact. Last time, we discussed the passive anger communicator. Today, the category turns to aggressive anger.
Beverly Engel is one of the researchers we refer to in our training when we discuss anger and how it is communicated. In Honoring Your Anger, Engel both discusses and evaluates styles of communicating anger, categorizing whether they are healthy or unhealthy.
We have been discussing anger, shame and violence. We have most recently been addressing how parents can prevent speaking a spiraling set of angry messages that would leave significant scars on the emotional health of their child. Yes, parents can express anger in a healthy way.
Remember our parents starting sentences with “you” when talking to us about something we were doing that annoyed them? Sometimes the words that followed “you” were full of blame, humiliation, intimidation, shame and control. So, how does a parent communicate effective disciplinary statements without causing long-term negative emotional consequences? The answer is: use an I-Message.
I know that it can be difficult and stressful to stay calm when your child is being uncooperative. It is also hard to visualize what calm actually looks like when you are in the middle of a challenging argument with your child. So, I thought I would write a post that uses a role-play in order to […]
Parents and children may have many difficult encounters where anger could escalate to aggression. One of the hardest moments to maintain parental self-control is when your child is acting out and you are being triggered into anger by his or her behavior or attitude.
I distinctly remember an encounter we had while we were at a conference with a young couple whose infant was in a stroller. These two young parents engaged our staff and began to talk about the struggles of parenting while the mother or mother-in-law approached us to chat and browse one of our parenting books we […]