As we begin our discussion of effective discipline, perhaps we should start by defining what it is and isn’t. Since I often hear parents discussing what they do to get their children or teenagers to comply with rules or change behavior, I also hear how much diversity exists in the understanding of discipline.
Many would agree that one of the toughest jobs is parenting. With children are numerous, sometimes overwhelming, variables: temperaments, issues, emotions, complex developmental changes often occurring simultaneously. The process of parenting takes a totally dependent infant to an independent adult, and while that process can be incredibly enjoyable, it is not without some extremely challenging periods, especially when involving […]
Why have I spent so much time discussing a variety of anger topics? Because unhealthy anger has the capacity to do incredible damage to our children, families, society and, yes, even our world. The news is filled with stories where anger has led to tragedy. In working with at-risk students at Lakeside, we recognize the role anger has played in their […]
As we deal with children who are angry, or who show signs of being impacted by the circumstances created in a home with a great deal of anger expressed in unhealthy ways, we may notice a pattern. There is probably nothing more psychologically and relationally strong than the connection to our family of origin and why it […]
Anyone can become angry…particularly a parent or caregiver. Frustrration for a parent may build until, inadvertently, anger gains such control, it is all one is feeling and thinking. Remember a past post that established the reasons we get angry have more to do with our thoughts than our circumstances? Well, one way to manage anger is to be […]
Our last four posts have discussed Beverly Engel’s research about passive, aggressive, passive-aggressive and projective-aggressive forms of anger expression as unhealthy responses. Since angry responses can leave emotional scars for children and adults alike, how one communicates anger is critical within a relationship. Some people spend a lifetime dealing with this issue both as a victim and as […]
We have been discussing different forms of expressing anger, looking at the research of Beverly Engel. So far, we have concentrated on the unhealthy expressions–passive anger, aggressive anger, or passive-aggressive anger–each of which leads to negative consequences in relationships. In our final part about unhealthy expressions of anger, Engel talks about projective-aggressive anger.
We have been discussing ways of communicating anger. To date, we have spoken about passive forms and aggressive forms of anger expression. According to the research of Beverly Engel, the passive-aggressive style of communicating anger has portions of both forms. This style of anger expression can be difficult to understand for the person who is dealing […]
In my last post, I introduced the work of Beverly Engel who has researched and categorized styles of anger communication. We have been looking at categorizes of anger communication that are unhealthy in impact. Last time, we discussed the passive anger communicator. Today, the category turns to aggressive anger.