In parenting education, we use a lot of similar words to describe different ideas. Some parents use these words interchangeably, which redefines the words into what they may understand them to mean. For these reasons, it can be confusing when discussing the topic of parenting and effective discipline. For example, some people would equate limit-setting and discipline as the […]
We have begun a new blog series on effective discipline, a key issue for parents striving to help their children grow and develop in healthy ways. Some parents choose punishment or the threat of punishment as a way to motivate and control a child’s behavior, arguing that punishment can help to stop undesired behavior. However, parenting experts are […]
As we begin our discussion of effective discipline, perhaps we should start by defining what it is and isn’t. Since I often hear parents discussing what they do to get their children or teenagers to comply with rules or change behavior, I also hear how much diversity exists in the understanding of discipline.
Many would agree that one of the toughest jobs is parenting. With children are numerous, sometimes overwhelming, variables: temperaments, issues, emotions, complex developmental changes often occurring simultaneously. The process of parenting takes a totally dependent infant to an independent adult, and while that process can be incredibly enjoyable, it is not without some extremely challenging periods, especially when involving […]
Why have I spent so much time discussing a variety of anger topics? Because unhealthy anger has the capacity to do incredible damage to our children, families, society and, yes, even our world. The news is filled with stories where anger has led to tragedy. In working with at-risk students at Lakeside, we recognize the role anger has played in their […]
As we deal with children who are angry, or who show signs of being impacted by the circumstances created in a home with a great deal of anger expressed in unhealthy ways, we may notice a pattern. There is probably nothing more psychologically and relationally strong than the connection to our family of origin and why it […]
Anyone can become angry…particularly a parent or caregiver. Frustrration for a parent may build until, inadvertently, anger gains such control, it is all one is feeling and thinking. Remember a past post that established the reasons we get angry have more to do with our thoughts than our circumstances? Well, one way to manage anger is to be […]
Our last four posts have discussed Beverly Engel’s research about passive, aggressive, passive-aggressive and projective-aggressive forms of anger expression as unhealthy responses. Since angry responses can leave emotional scars for children and adults alike, how one communicates anger is critical within a relationship. Some people spend a lifetime dealing with this issue both as a victim and as […]
We have been discussing different forms of expressing anger, looking at the research of Beverly Engel. So far, we have concentrated on the unhealthy expressions–passive anger, aggressive anger, or passive-aggressive anger–each of which leads to negative consequences in relationships. In our final part about unhealthy expressions of anger, Engel talks about projective-aggressive anger.