When disciplining, I have invited readers to work on a report card that begins with two “Cs”: being calm and clear. Calm is both an attitude and a set of behaviors, and as I noted, a parent can fake being calm by assuming the behaviors of calmness, even if inwardly the parent is feeling highly agitated.
The Third “C,” Confidence
Being clear is about gaining a high level of clarity within oneself, with regard to specific and fair expectations, and then being able to clearly communicate those to a child.
The third “C” on the Discipline Report Card is the ability to be and project confidence.
Like calm, confidence is both an attitude and a set of behaviors.
The attitude of confidence comes from the belief that a parent not only has the right to be in charge and respected as the authority, but he or she also has the responsibility to assume an in-charge position in those moments when discipline is required.
There are several benefits for being confident when disciplining:
- Disciplining no longer seems like a burden or distasteful job. Rather, it just goes with the territory of parenting.
- Disciplining can have a relaxed, dispassionate stance and doesn’t have to become emotionally exhausting.
- Confident disciplining is about being assertive in life and can be a model for your children, thus increasing their self-confidence and emotional health.
By knowing some of the benefits of being confident, I hope readers are ready to embrace the necessary attitudes they need to have, which will be the subject of my next blog.
Invitation to Reflect:
- How well are you doing being calmer and clearer when you discipline?
- How confident do you feel about your rights and responsibilities around effectively disciplining your child?
- Do the benefits of becoming more confident appeal to you?
Diane Wagenhals, Director of Institute for Professional Education and Development, Lakeside Educational Network