When you are confronted with a situation involving anger, it is important to apply a strategic plan for your response. We have been considering the idea of ACEing anger. Assessing, then making Choices, and the last and most important part of dealing with anger, Executing your choices.
ACEing anger: 15 ways of Executing the message
In many situations of anger, the Choice made will dictate the Execution (form of action) that follows.
For example, if the Choice is to exit, then the way that Choice is Executed is for that person literally or mentally to leave. If the Choice is to communicate a concept very specifically, then the way the Choice is Executed is by crafting a clear, accurate message.
In this blog series, I have been referring to well-respected resources for dealing with anger such as The Anger Control Workbook and The Anger Management Sourcebook. Using some information from these sources and others, we can discover strategies where some of the concepts for ACEing anger can be utilized, and more specifically, Executed.
Here are some ways to use basic Assessments, Choices and Executions in dealing with anger.
- By becoming more aware of Trigger Thoughts and underling distortions and incorrect beliefs, we can make Choices around creating healthier and more accurate coping thoughts.
- We can Execute those thoughts by accessing them and replacing inaccurate and unhealthy thoughts and beliefs with newer healthier thought which can impact our feelings and how we brain functions.
- We can Choose and then Execute relaxation techniques.
- We can Choose to focus on creative approaches by using problem solving techniques.
- We can determine and take healthy escape routes away from danger, whether physical or emotional.
- We can promote our self-confidence.
- We can seek new explanations beyond our initial explanations.
- We can find ways to see more of the larger picture.
- We can appreciate that others have their values, beliefs, intentions, abilities and maturity levels.
- We can learn to express our needs in non-attacking ways.
- We can soften inflammatory language.
- We can lower our voices, be intentionally peaceful and non-threatening in our body language.
- We can listen to and respect the other person’s opinions and perspectives.
- We can agree to disagree.
- We can use factual, descriptive language to tell our story.
There are many ways to Assess, make Choices and Execute strategies to bring anger to a peaceful resolution. Just taking the time for our angry neurological responses to calm allows us to be intentional about how we approach and resolve these angry episodes. That valuable period of calming will really help to turn angry situations into opportunities to process resolutions and provide a healthier relationship.
Imagine how different our lives could be if we could take the time to manage our volatile, angry emotions and turn them into peaceful resolutions.
Gerry Vassar, President and CEO, Lakeside Educational Network
Some information taken from Understanding Anger, 2004, Diane Wagenhals.