In our work with students and families at Lakeside, we encounter thousands of parents who have struggled with their children and teenagers. We find that parents are usually desperate to help their child and often do not know how. So, we first identify the problem. A frequent one we see is that the child is trapped in a cycle […]
I once met a young man who seemed meek and calm; he came into my office to talk about problems with his wife. I sensed a lot of unrest in him, but he was extremely warm and polite. He then began to speak to me about physically abusing his wife, exposing the intense levels of rage within him. He also […]
In my last post we discussed toxic versus healthy shame. We also reflected on guilt and how it can either be healthy or unhealthy. We realize that a certain level of shame and guilt can be healthy if it affirms our humanity, helps us to learn our limits and affirms our values. However, as I encounter […]
In my last post we learned how shame, fear and violence are connected. We have been discussing the fact that a violent act stems from the violent individual’s significant feelings of shame. But is shame always something that causes a strong negative reaction?
When we think about out-of-control anger, we tend to think about it as an adult problem. However, some children have verbal or physical outbursts that frighten parents and caregivers.
We have been discussing the topic of anger in many different ways in my last series of posts. Some may think that anger is benign in its impact as long as no one “gets hurt.” However, it is interesting to think about what some researchers are saying about the impact of a parent’s anger on children. […]
Parenting can be very difficult. When a child is misbehaving or acts emotionally out-of-control, parents can become so exasperated that they “lose it” and say or do things that they wish they had not.
In my last post, we discussed the importance of knowing your anger triggers. Many triggers can cause us to respond with intense anger, which can be extremely destructive to our relationships. What about the person who learned responses of anger as a part of the core beliefs of his or her family?
Something has happened with regard to your teenager. As a parent, you wonder, “So, what should I do now?”
In my last post I discussed the need for teenagers to have healthy role models as a way of creating their values and expectations which they use to define their lives. Having a sense of good role models helps them build healthy self-esteem.