We have been discussing anger, shame and violence. We have most recently been addressing how parents can prevent speaking a spiraling set of angry messages that would leave significant scars on the emotional health of their child. Yes, parents can express anger in a healthy way.
Remember our parents starting sentences with “you” when talking to us about something we were doing that annoyed them? Sometimes the words that followed “you” were full of blame, humiliation, intimidation, shame and control. So, how does a parent communicate effective disciplinary statements without causing long-term negative emotional consequences? The answer is: use an I-Message.