Recently someone was describing a family relative and told me how they made her so angry sometimes. We probably heard people say that as well as things like, “You made me feel so sad,” “You drive me crazy!” or “You make me feel responsible for your struggles.” When we state that another person has the […]
Are You Automatically Lonely When You Are Alone?
In my last blog I shared some thoughts about the power and importance of belonging. When people don’t have a network or even one or two people to whom they belong, they may often feel lonely. It can be helpful to appreciate that being lonely is not the same thing as being alone. Being alone […]
Why We All Need to Belong
Where do you belong? You may think of a membership in a church, synagogue, or other faith organization. Or a sports team. Some people belong to a health club, book club, and/or political party. We may enjoy each to some extent, get frustrated, or decide to end our relationship. Hopefully you belong to your current […]
How Carefully Do You Dose In Your Conversation?
When you hear the word “dose,” what comes to mind? Most of us think of that word in terms of amounts of medication to take. We are familiar with the concept of over-dosing and the dire consequences of that. But have you ever thought about how much you dose information in your conversations? Are you […]
Why You Shouldn’t Say “It’s Going to Be Okay”
Consider how often, when someone shares a problem or a concern, the response by others is something like: “It’s going to be okay” “You’ll handle it just fine!” “You are so smart/capable/creative so don’t worry“ “You always figure out problems – just give it a little time.” Think about how often we jump into conversations […]
With Whom in Your Life are You Vulnerable?
In a previous blog I described how we all have membership circles. Our closest, most intimate relationships are at the center with concentric circles moving out from the center where the degree of intimacy lessens. In this blog I’m going to invite you to be to consider what part vulnerability plays in who you have […]
How Well Have You Adjusted to Our Changing World?
Most of us would agree that our world has changed dramatically in so many ways over the last few years. Here in the fall of 2022 we are diving back into school and work lives after experiencing vacations and more relaxed schedules. Change seems to be everywhere! Many of these changes were imposed on us […]
How to Notice What’s Going on Within You and Around You
I was struck many years ago by information Bessel van der Kolk provides in his excellent book The Body Keeps the Score that I’d like to share with you. It has to do with the power and importance of noticing what’s going on within you and around you. Van der Kolk’s book is mostly about […]
How Being in Denial Can Harm Us
One of the ways we protect ourselves when we are having strong, overwhelming, emotional feelings is to go into a state of denial. According to the website Britannica “Denial is the conscious refusal to perceive that painful facts exist.” It is a way for an individual to escape intolerable thoughts, feelings, or events. According to […]
Where Are You in Your Relationship Cycle?
In my last few blogs, I’ve been focusing on the nature of relationships because, as social creatures, virtually all of us are dependent on our relationships for our emotional health and even our survival. I have my Master’s degree in psychoeducational processes. This involves the research about the dynamics of relationships and what influences group […]
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